Word of the Day: "Trick"

 

Word of the Day: “Trick”

Get ready for that onslaught of children who’ll stop by tonight in an act of socially sanctioned extortion, demanding candy under pain of…

Well, of what?

Supposedly some “trick” or other. But do these diminutive extortionists actually have a trick to play on you if you don’t hand over the goodies?

The fact is, nobody seems to know what would happen if you say, “No treat for you tonight: I’m willing to take whatever trick you may have in your repertoire.”

The six-year-old Taylor Swift standing at your front door stares at you, uncomprehending.

“No treat for you; I want you to follow through on what I regard as a good faith offer to trick me if I didn’t treat you.”

Taylor Swift continues to stare. She’s increasingly uneasy. Parent of Taylor Swift, standing about 15 feet away, can’t hear you but notices something’s amiss. Begins to engage parental protection mode. Shines flashlight in your direction without actually blinding you.

Taylor Swift turns, looking for parental help.

“I’m waiting: do you have a trick for me or not?” The fact that you’re a 220-pound man, dressed as Tinker Bell and wearing a Ronald Reagan mask is compounding her confusion.

Parent now walks briskly toward you, to rescue a bewildered Taylor Swift.

Meanwhile, three teenage boys carrying pillow cases, half-filled with candy, approach. They sense something isn’t right. They stop, about 10 feet away. Taylor Swift has by now been rescued by Parent. “Come on, honey, let’s go to the next house.”

First teenager, at a safe distance, calls out, “Trick or treat, mister?”

You reply, “I’ll take a trick. What do you have?”

Second teenager, to companions: “Hey, what’s a ‘trick’?” They leave.

***

Your wife calls from the kitchen: “Are we running out of candy?”

You: “No, not yet.”

[300 words]