Saturday, August 30, 2025

What The H*ll...

 

What the H*ll…

Today we’ll look at the pseudo-sanitizing role of the asterisk when you need to use taboo words that you cannot use. So we play a curious game, as I did with the title of my book about words, Meet The Dog That Didn’t Sh*t. Paradoxically, we use the taboo word without using the word. Everyone who’s an English speaker, and older than maybe 9 or 10, knows exactly what’s meant when you write f*ck, n*gger, or d*mn.

You’re not supposed to use these words in polite company. So you engage in this peculiar exercise of using them without actually stating them. The asterisk serves as a kind of neutralizing agent, or an insurance policy, protecting you from any charge that you’re using a bad word while you’re doing precisely that. Doing so is like driving with diplomatic plates; you have absolute immunity. You haven’t violated current norms. Admittedly, these norms are in constant flux; some previously taboo words now drop their asterisks, while others now require them.

Let’s turn to my favorite joke about taboo words. (Taken from Meet The Dog.)

Once there were two young brothers. The five-year-old announced it was time for them to start using bad words. Of course, his four-year-old brother agreed. The next morning Mom asked the boys what they wanted for breakfast. Seizing the moment, the older boy said, “Oh, what the h*ll, I’ll have Wheaties.” Horrified, the Mom spanked the boy, gave him a lecture on acceptable words in their family, and sent him to his room hungry.

She then turned to the younger boy, terrified as he watched what had happened. “And you?” she demanded. He replied, “Well, I’m not sure, but you can bet your *ss it won’t be Wheaties.”

If only the boys could have incorporated asterisks into their responses.

[300 words]

2 comments:

  1. It seems that the more one sanitizes a word with an asterisk or other spoiler, the more one thinks about it. One cannot unknow the spoiled word and/or unthink it. It's as if the * or some other character, say a backwards 3 or an 8 (substitute "ayt") makes the word suddenly palatable to those who would never have thought it in the first place. I don't see this as neutralizing. I see it as the next generation of whispering behind your hand or a woman's fan the same derogatory thinking, an excuse to use the words in the first place. Titillatingly, a purposeful removal of oneself from the actual use of a word at someone else's expense.

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What The H*ll...

  What the H*ll… Today we’ll look at the pseudo-sanitizing role of the asterisk when you need to use taboo words that you cannot use. So w...