Pre-boarding

 

Traveling earlier this month to Millersville, PA to be with our daughter and son-in-law to help with their young twins, I encountered another instance of the airlines’ eye-rolling use of language. It’s the concept of pre-boarding—which I take to mean “boarding before we begin boarding.” But I don’t know how they can accomplish that. It’s the equivalent of “eating before you eat” or “sleeping before you sleep.” Supposedly it’s a policy of giving preferential treatment to passengers who bought first class tickets or are traveling with small children or need extra helping getting down the walk-way. But why not call it “preferential boarding”?

If we placed “pre-boarding” in a special category of “pointless” words, it wouldn’t be alone. Think of the road signs sometimes placed before construction. They say, “Be Prepared To Stop.” Well, duh… That’s one of the first things you have drummed into you when learning to drive: Know how to stop this chunk of metal that you’re navigating, subject to the terrifying realties of physics and the knowledge that at 60 mph you’re covering 88 feet per second. Of course you should be prepared to stop—at any time!

OK, I’m overreacting. What the road construction people are saying is, “Be even more ready than usual to stop because we’re just ahead.” Admittedly, that won’t easily fit on a sign.

Still, the wording bugs me, in the same way I get irritated by those instructions we get on some frozen food items: “Do not overheat.” Of course you shouldn’t heat it more than you should heat it.

Back to pre-boarding: What if all those eligible for pre-boarding constituted everyone on the flight, and there was nobody else left to board? Could they still have pre-boarding before no other boarding? I’ll ask and share what I learn.

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